I don’t particularly like the idea of going back in time because I’m not sure that I want to change anything because quite frankly what if you just made things worse by altering what would have been the natural course of events to the best possible outcome of your life?
If I could however go back in time and give my younger self any advice it would be to forgive myself. I’ve always felt that I spent a lot of time in my early twenties beating myself up for human mistakes and ultimately punishing myself by simply existing and not fully living. I would however commend myself for pushing through on some very dark days and never staying down too long.
I would definitely tell myself (and forgive me for quoting charlamagne tha god’s father) that ‘you’re never as bad as they say and you’re never as good as they say’. I would tell a younger me this in attempts to stifle that ever demanding need I had growing up to live up to other people’s expectations.
I would tell a younger me that you don’t have to audition for a man’s love. You can be the prettiest, funniest and most energetic woman ever but you can’t force chemistry and you shouldn’t. I would most certainly tell a younger me sex isn’t something a man takes from you and there is no shame in being a sexual being. I would tell the younger me reading Cosmos ‘top thirty tips on finding your dream man’ is a ton of BS.
I would tell my younger self that your circle does indeed get smaller the older you get. That it’s okay to fight with your ride or die friends but ultimately people who care about you won’t let you down. I would also remind myself that sometimes I am the biggest dickhead and saying sorry is the grown woman thing to so when you mess up.
Maybe I would tell my younger self to not have gone to law school and maybe chosen a more creative path. I probably would have also added that a fail in an exam is not the end of the world and you really don’t need to down nearly two bottles of wine to check your bloody results you bloody fool!
Ultimately I would tell the younger me to buckle up and enjoy the ride, destination happiness is a myth and if she’s always seeking happiness at the next destination it’ll never be where she is.
I would also tell her to chill out on that horrendous pink blush she couldn’t leave the house with at age 20.