I woke up in the middle of the night like I usually do most nights when I go to bed stressed out- spluttering, in a state of confusion and terrified. Terrified because I know what’s happening and I feel powerless to stop it, terrified because I’m not sure if I need an ambulance or not and terrified because I just don’t know when it will end. I got out of be, opened my window and let the wave of panic pas. In about ten minutes the ‘episode’ was over.
I don’t like to admit that I’ve always been an anxious person but I have. I can vividly remember the first time I learnt that all human beings will eventually die, I was about 8 or 9 at the time (I’m pretty sure I’ve shared this story too many times forgive me). I remember it mostly because of how bluntly my sister put it (mainly because she’d been asked to supervise my bath time and I wouldn’t stop mucking about). I was confused and scared and anxious for days. That’s probably one of my earliest memories of being so overwhelmed with panic it manifested itself physically- I simply couldn’t sleep, I thought about it for days and I felt sick to my stomach.
Now I’m not some tortured soul kept awake at night by the workings of my immensely creative mind. I’m far from that, and actually I take a comfort (selfishly) in the fact that we all suffer from some sort of anxiety at some stage in life. The degrees and the way this anxiety manifests of course varies from person to person but it’s more common than you could imagine.
It’s not at all shameful to admit that you are worried. Worried about life, anxious about tomorrow, your family, your mortality. It happens to the best of us, the rest of us- to all of us. I’m still learning to cope with panic attacks and anxiety- I know that it can be truly terrifying business but I also take comfort in knowing this too shall pass. The crippling seconds, minutes, hours shall pass.
I’ve tried things like relaxing before bed, tapping and breathing exercises which have worked well at different times to calm me down. Of course speaking with an expert is always a wonderful idea. Sometimes it can make you feel alone, like you’re going crazy, take a deep breath- This too shall pass~ Namaste