HOW to NOT BE A DOUCHE BAG AT WORK

Emotional Intelligence at work: How not be a douche bag at work

From being fired from a temp job my sister in law hooked me up with to dressing up as a mascot for build-a-bear, it’s safe to say I’ve had a relatively interesting working life. Whilst still quite young in the world of employment I think I’ve picked up a few good habits and learnt some hard lessons which I feel compelled to share, so load this article up whilst you pretend you’re reading that report due in tomorrow.

Emotional intelligence in the work place is by no means underrated however we all know someone who could benefit from a lesson or two when it comes to working well with others.

Don’t kiss your manager. Pretty self-explanatory boys and girls. Now whilst this was a temporary job right before university I’m sure we can all agree snogging your team leader’s face off after a night of boozing is a bad idea, but I was 19 and not very clever and he was 29 and should have known better. Some people say work and love (or the odd shag here and there) can work at world but I disagree. Read my post on why you need to divorce your work husband, but long story short bringing unnecessary emotional romantic baggage to your place of employment can promote a lot of douche baggery you really don’t need. I’m all for raising salaries not skirts in the workplace.

 

Don’t be that guy that Cc’s everyone’s manager into an email because they made typo on a report or left their tuna sandwich unattended in the staff room. Don’t do that because it can be a pretty douche bag thing to do. Now whilst repeat offenders or colleagues who make work-life unbearable should have their asses handed to them so they know not to manipulate you, there is tact and there is ‘telling’. Only you know what ticks the boxes in your work place as being ‘Cc the Manager’ worthy, use that tact. Plus if you made a small error which could be rectified by being approached discreetly would you want your manager and their pet goldfish to be privy to all of that? Didn’t think so.

Don’t be the douche bag that vomits into the wine bucket filled with ice and subsequently has to get carried out of the bar with one shoe missing and crying for your dildo (happy to report this time it wasn’t me). Once you get to know your work mates a little better and start to develop a friendship it can be tempting to do the things you do when you’re out with your non work friends. The lines get blurred and especially at work functions you may be tempted to drink excessively and act out of line. You then have to do the walk of shame come Monday morning all the while wondering who heard you throwing your foot-long sub up at the summer barbecue. You don’t want a reputation at work as being the one that can’t handle a drink and if you have clients at work events you may not only be damaging your reputation but also your company’s.

Don’t be unnecessarily ruthless in your ‘quest to the top’, whatever the hell that means. I say unnecessarily because we all know it’s a dog eat dog world out there and a degree of tenacity is needed if you want to advance your career. Now whilst in certain types of industries, this may be looked upon quite favourably, making enemies out of your work colleagues can’t be a fun thing! What’s the point of a raise if you’re nickname is something despicable and nobody wants to go with you to lunch? That said the temptation of a raise if I never have to see some people at work again is rather delicious, lol. The working world is competitive and sometimes you’re going to have to piss some people off but where you can use tact and not be a first class douche on your climb- do it!

I’ve only been in the employment world for about ten years and whilst I have big dreams of making it on my own and never have to go on another interview where I spew lies about enjoying tennis and long walks, I am mindful of the impact of my interactions with work folk and clients in general. You spend more time at work (sadly) than anywhere else. Don’t shit where you eat.

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