fuck you Ade

I’m not shy about sharing how tumultuous a love life I’ve had because my experiences are mine to share and if it makes someone feel better then- winning!

How to be single and win you ask? I would like to say being single isn’t half bad, but we know that’s complete bullshit because according to society you can’t possibly be single and happy *insert eye roll*.

This is a small PSA to say stop bloody feeling sorry for yourself because you haven’t found someone to exchange stinky farts with on Sunday mornings, because Sunday mornings are for lovers aren’t they? *more eye rolling*, and lol I’ve used that caption before- I got flowers and coffee and I was feeling myself.

Come closer let me whisper this into your ears. Ears that have had empty sweet nothings whispered into them only to be let down after you’ve made sure you’ve shaved and had your eyebrows threaded. ‘Sorry babe, can’t make it today, something came up’, yea okay then Ade, piss off with your long head and sloppy kisses. Ade is completely fictional I assure you.

STOP texting people who reply your messages 36 hours later because – you know, very busy and what not. Stop playing assistant to the fella wo calls you only at midnight every other Friday, booking his dentist appointments whilst he’s balls deep in Ama’s secret garden.

STOP making excuses for people who don’t choose, you choose yourself. When people show you who they are, believe them. Or are we playing the ‘love has to be tumultuous and painful’ game, because that romanticised version of what dating should be is played out and false. It is harmful and it is killing us.

STOP allowing people to make you feel disposable and not good enough because you are good enough, you are good enough you are good enough. I’m not victim blaming and in fact I’m talking to my damn self.

STOP having sex you don’t enjoy, the sex is trash but you’re waxed and ready to receive the thrusts of a fella who doesn’t realllyyyyy give a shit, but you know, hour long convos every Wednesday and the promise of a fancy date so let’s play it out and see how many fake moans we can get in before he realises you’re drier than your favourite uncle’s jokes at a Christmas party.

Babe, I knowwww the heartache of not feeling good enough, of constantly feeling like you’re on a fucking audition, your jokes are funnier, you’re extra moisturised, you’ve got pictures of your nephew everywhere because ‘me so wifey’, only to be made to feel like an option.

In 2017 let’s choose people who choose us. If it doesn’t make you feel good don’t do it. And if you’re stringing Gary along, stop, be honest with people. If your pleasure and overall wellbeing is sought after in a safe, healthy and respectable way then go right ahead.

Enjoy your singledom and flourish, do it your way, put YOU first. – Note to self-~ Namaste.



  1. ***
    January 31, 2017 / 7:49 pm

    This is beautiful as beautiful as you are and revealing . Thank you

    • Helen
      February 2, 2017 / 3:24 pm

      Thank you

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