Hey it’s me, little old me just here changing the things that I see so I can change the things that I think. I feel like maybe I’ve been a little bit over bearing in sharing my new-found confidence and resistance to the status quo, particularly with some more …. shall we say ‘conservative’ friends. Whilst I haven’t been met with overt resistance- I feel it.
It’s in the subtle disapproving looks when I say things like ‘fuck who you want to fuck, be safe, be respectful and be ethical.’ It’s in the scoffs when I say things like ‘I don’t particularly like cooking, it’s not for me.’ It’s in the ‘aww you’re so liberal’ when I share my thoughts on rape culture and why I hate that women are policed so heavily and yet we still face sexual violence at the hands of perpetrators who still receive societal support.
We continue to live under misogyny’s heavy cloak. It shapes the way women live and even die. Domestic violence is rife and we are still not paid the same as our male counterparts for doing the same job. Women continued to be judged by our vaginas (or lack thereof), cooking ability and whether we want to reproduce. It has never more important to speak about these things because everything else around us is advancing but how women are treated in our society.
Sometimes It feels like I’m talking to a brick wall. I am aware that I’m not always as articulate as I would like to be, I lift the ideas that make sense to me and try to present them with all the passion that I’m learning these ideas with and sometimes I fall flat.
I’ve been feeling more and more empowered these days and I just want the people around me to feel it too without feeling like an alien. I’m tired of entering conversations that start with ‘As a woman…’ because yup, you guessed it, it always ends with some BS about what society expects from women.
I’m tired of telling women to challenge beauty standards and love their imperfections. Whilst I’m dismantling internalised fat phobia and learning to use exercise as a feel-good tool and not punishment, I’m tired of being sucked back into negative spaces perpetuated by misogyny.
Sometimes after debates with friends I feel like pulling my hair out. After we’ve talked about relationships, men, work place politics etc., I notice that nothing has changed, the world is changing around us but as women are we any more empowered? I ruminate on everything and think damn;
Don’t you want to challenge the norm?
Aren’t you tired of not being heard?
Wouldn’t it be great if you didn’t have to fight so hard for ethical treatment?
Don’t you want to wear what you want?
Maybe there is no subtle way to challenge the status quo. Everyone else is making their stance known as radically as they can, hell, why shouldn’t we? I feel even more strongly now about saying what I feel because silence does nothing, after all, empowered women empower women.