I tweeted about destination addiction/happiness yesterday and I guess it went down a treat. Sometimes it’s good to be reminded that everything isn’t quite as bad as it seems. I’d written about destination addiction before at a time when I felt like I was literally always holding my breath. I was anxious all the time and a good night’s rest constantly eluded me. I was chasing happiness, giving it conditions and never meeting said conditions.
If happiness was a destination, it certainly wasn’t where I was. It was tucked away in a mythical land where surprisingly you had to be perfect to access. I didn’t want to buy certain clothes until I was a certain size. I was holding off even getting my hair done or my nails done- because what is the point? I told myself “I’ll go out when I lose 20 lbs, I’ll enter that writing competition when 20 friends tell me they like my latest blog post” and the list goes on and on and on.
Like I said in my tweet- you are alive, you’ve been alive, you are living, you have been living – or have you? Have you convinced yourself that that girl you like will only go out with you if it’s to a fancy restaurant? Are you waiting until your acne clears before you say yes to going out with your friends? Are you finding that happiness seems postponed, conditional on some unrealistic expectation that often YOU have placed on yourself?
I’m always on the go, always trying new things and always attempting at the very least to do things which I enjoy with people I enjoy but I can’t tell you how many times I haven’t done something for fear that conditions simply were not good enough. That somehow not being in the ‘space’ I felt I should be in would diminish the amount of happiness I would experience if I went ahead and did whatever I wanted to do in the first place.
Soon you find that experiences are passing you by, relationships don’t ever materialise, that dress you always wanted to wear- no longer in stock. You procrastinate so long to do what it is you really want to do and slowly you lose the vim you once had.
That dress that you’ve been eyeing up- buy it and wear it, that girl you think won’t say yes to a date- ask her, you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take- Wayne Gretzky. That holiday you’ve been wanting to take only if you can stay in best hotel- make a budge, book it and enjoy it. That film you’ve been wanting to watch but can’t find anyone to go with- just do it!
Life is passing you by and you only get once chance to make it as splendid as you want it to be. If Happiness is a destination let it be where you are today in this moment~ Namaste.