Hello lovers, I didn’t think I would stop blogging when I fell in love but alas here I am, giddy and gooey and loved up and lacking inspiration. Sigh.
The last few months have been some of my most productive months even though you wouldn’t have known because some of that productivity didn’t rub off on my blog.
My anxiety reached peak levels and I’ve u’mmed and a’hhd about sharing because, helloooo, peaks and troughs and c’est la vie and the rest of it.
After a few back to back panic attacks and trips to the doctors I am happy to report that all is well, I don’t have a heart condition like I convinced my doctor I did and there’s absolutely no deadly disease swimming in my blood stream, Ya girl was just overwhelmed and not dealing with it as well as she should have. I was high-functioning, going to my 9-5, spending time with family and just ignoring every negative trigger until it caught up with me.
I’ve since decided to really dial into the sort of self-care that allows me to relax guilt free. I’ve also become acutely aware that just because I know what my triggers are doesn’t mean that the journey is done, in fact that’s where the real work begins. Let’s call it Identification and Rectification. Finding out what the work is and drum roll please……… doing the damn work. It takes motivation to make those types of changes that enhance your life. I’m no longer pushing myself at the gym when I’m beyond exhausted and spending time doing things I simply don’t want to do (I know I know, I say this all the time but I mean it!).
Anyways I just wanted to say that I’m not dying LOL. In fact I appreciate the biological feedback my body gives me. I know that if I don’t deal with issues, the issues will deal with me (I sound like a Ghanaian teacher).
If you go through the motions and put your feelings in a box and throw away the keys, the consequences are rarely pleasant. Sometimes you learn that the hard way and sometimes you stumble on a blog that tells you to listen to your fucking body.