Hey it’s me, little old me just here changing the things that I see so I can change the things that I think. I feel like maybe I’ve been a little bit over bearing in sharing my new-found confidence and resistance to the status quo, particularly with some more …. shall we say ‘conservative’ friends. Whilst I haven’t been met with overt resistance- I feel it.
It’s in the subtle disapproving looks when I say things like ‘fuck who you want to fuck, be safe, be respectful and be ethical.’ It’s in the scoffs when I say things like ‘I don’t particularly like cooking, it’s not for me.’ It’s in the ‘aww you’re so liberal’ when I share my thoughts on rape culture and why I hate that women are policed so heavily and yet we still face sexual violence at the hands of perpetrators who still receive societal support.
Yesterday, Waterstones on Gower street hosted an evening with Grace Victory to launch her first book ‘No Filter’. I’ve been following Grace Victory for many years and can confidently say that I was one of her first subscribers when her YouTube channel was previously called ‘Ugly Face of Beauty’. When she announced that she was writing a book I knew I had to cop that shit.
The evening albeit brief was entertaining and very lovely. We took away a copy of the book and had the choice of a variety of body mists provided by the Being Sanctuary plus a cheeky glass of wine (those bad boys could have been filled to the brim though).
I feel like I’ve done many adulting type things this week for which I am extremely proud. I’ve said YES to a networking event for my job (I hate those with a passion), I said NO to biscuits because I was very full and didn’t need them (I knooowwww …. very adult), stayed on top of the news and I’ve also scheduled some events I would never have attended in the past.
Emotionally I’m continuing to navigate negative feelings even on days when everything in my being screams *HIDE MOTHERFUCKER*.
For me, getting older means getting sexier, cementing my individuality, finding and hopefully fulfilling my purpose. It also means speaking my mind and holding steadfast to things I deem true.
More important than being an AILF (Auntie I’d like to bleep) is the need to continually acknowledge that the bad days are part of life. We would not be complex wonderful beings if we didn’t have to navigate complex feelings.
My mother chemically relaxed my hair before I was 8 years old and therein started my relationship with the creamy crack (chemical hair relaxers). For those of you not familiar with what relaxers do, they simply chemically alter the texture of your hair making it straighter if your hair had a curly texture to begin with. I really shouldn’t say “simply” in reference to hair relaxers and what they do because the consequences of using hair relaxers are far reaching and sometimes quite complex.
Growing up, kinky or coarse and tightly curled hair was viewed by many as being undesirable, unkempt and not professional for the work place. Straight long flowing hair with its proximity to widely accepted European standards seemed to be the way to go.
Currently soaking in SZA’s new album and particularly enjoying the song ‘20 something’ because the lyrics speak to me so hard.
Hopin’ my 20 somethings won’t end
Hopin’ to keep the rest of my friends
Prayin’ the 20 somethings don’t kill me, don’t kill me.
I’m also channeling the big hair- you like?
I’m excited that my 20 somethings haven’t killed me and with not much longer to go I’m happy to report that I’ve survived with minor cuts and bruises. Every time I thought I wouldn’t survive guess which motherfucker got up to fight another day?