Sex!– Look I love spending time in the boom boom room (that’s just my bedroom by the way, not some seedy hotel). I know I’m not alone when I say I thought getting older would be all about sex sex and more sex- actually I might have called it love- making at that time (eye-roll). Whilst getting it on to the one you love can be quite the tear jerker (I plead the fifth), there is definitely more to a relationship than doing the nasty. I wish I’d known a looongggg time ago that getting older and having sex had a lot of emotional consequences and more importantly orgasms are not guaranteed?! Get out of here maynee.
Living alone!– If like me you couldn’t wait to get older and move out so you could eat chocolate in your wardrobe in peace then you’re probably sorely disappointed. Whilst primarily living alone means I can run to the downstairs bathroom; trousers around my ankles when I discover I’m out of toilet paper, the down side is that it can make for some very lonely evenings. There’s plenty to be said about living with family and doing all the fun stuff that comes with it. I hated living with my mum and dad but the lessons I learnt about sharing, cohabiting with others and being tidy have carried me through- shakily! But still carried me through.
Driving! – Can I get a helloooooooooooo? Can I? I was obsessed with buying a car and driving anywhere I wanted. Fast forward to getting turned into a cabbie by your family members and you’ll soon realise paying for petrol isn’t all that great!
Staying up all night!– What a nightmare. I used to think the best thing about being older would be being able to stay up alllllll night. Who has time for that when you have to be up early for your 9-5? Give me all the naps and a ten pm bed time curfew! Staying up all night means waking up wishing you could re-enter your mother’s womb just so you can be reborn and then sleep all damn day.
Dating!- If you’re like 12 reading this (which you probably shouldn’t) here’s a spoiler alert…….. boys still suck, only thing is now they have larger penises and do evil things like make you fall in love and never text back. I’d go back to kiss chase- kinda, maybe- lol I’m in a good dating place so yea maybe not. Still dating is overrated. Who pays? Are we shagging? Where is this going? Its overrated!